It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Rita Rudner
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My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

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Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

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In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

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I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.

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It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Rita Rudner
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