“I've been embarrassing myself since about birth.”

“If you're insulting people on the internet, you must be ugly on the inside.”

“I'm just Phil from Rossendale. And now people are screaming for me 'cause I make YouTube videos - it's just crazy!”

“Marriage is just a piece of paper if it's not a happy one.”

“Be yourself. Don't worry about what other people are thinking of you.”

“Normalness leads to sadness.”

“I've been embarrassing myself since about birth.”

“A million coincidences had to occur in order for you to exist”