“I've discovered a new video game called owning my home.”

“I wish people used wishes to modify themselves instead of others. Wish to be low maintenance. Wish to be autonomous, even.”

“Garry Shandling has always been a pioneer of… meta entertainment. He's always been a defender of the creative right to use the frame as part of the painting.”

“You can't tell the audience — well, you can, but I don't like to tell the audience — that anything they're watching doesn't matter.”

“My cat brought me a toy. I thanked her and threw it. She sat there gave me a look that made me realize people and dogs are the crazy ones.”

“I expect the audience to assume TV is stupid. I accept that it's my job to overcome it.”

“Don't be so hard on yourself, don't put pressure on yourself, life is just a chain of experiments and results, and you'll be perfect when you're dead.”

“None of us are bad people. We float around and we run across each other and we learn about ourselves, and we make mistakes and we do great things. We hurt others, we hurt ourselves, we make others happy and we please ourselves. We can and should forgive ourselves and each other for that.”

“As humans, reality for us is largely based on other people's perceptions. If there's 20 bodies in your crawl space but you haven't been caught yet, you tell yourself you're still a birthday clown, and that's how you keep doing it.”

“I'm always trying to gain and keep the audience's respect. I always want them to know that the show doesn't think they're stupid for watching.”

“I've discovered a new video game called owning my home.”