“I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.”
Henny Youngman“When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win. -Henny Youngman, comedian and violinist (1906-1998)”
Henny Youngman“My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City? ”
Henny Youngman“I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.”
Henny Youngman“My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.”
Henny Youngman“I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.”
Henny Youngman“If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.”
Henny Youngman“She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.”
Henny Youngman“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
Henny Youngman“Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.”
Henny Youngman“When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.”
Henny Youngman