“Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus:Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man.Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore-Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.”

“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.”

“You scoundrel, you have wronged me," hissed the philosopher, "May you live forever!”

“To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.”

“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.”

“Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.”

“Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.”

“Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.”

“When you doubt, abstain.”

“Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.”

“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”