“My husband, Sal, and I put date nights on the calendar once a week. I know that doesn't sound romantic, but otherwise it won't get done.”

“When I planned my wedding the first time, my ex-husband and I, we were both struggling comics. I had a TV show that had gotten cancelled. Basically, I rented a wedding gown; the reception hall smelled like feet.”

“For my first wedding, I cried all the way down the aisle. My fake eyelash came off. My nose was red. My eyes were swollen. I'm not one of those pretty criers.”

“My husband, Sal, and I put date nights on the calendar once a week. I know that doesn't sound romantic, but otherwise it won't get done.”

“My mom passed away at 41 from diabetes. And I'm 42, thank you. I didn't want to do that to my son. So any time I was at the gym, that thing that helped me do that last squat was my son calling some other woman mommy. And that would just give me that extra oomph to do that last squat. I want to be around for him.”

“I get along very well with the cast of '30 Rock.' I guess I bring a certain quirkiness to the show as well. I'm just thankful they keep asking me. I didn't think I was going to be asked back so every time they say, 'We want you back,' I'm screaming. I'm jumping up and down and screaming.”

“I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior. I believe that Jesus died for my sins, and rose again, and that's my belief. I still don't know what 'Christian' means. I'm a follower of Christ, but I keep making a whole bunch of mistakes. And I thank God for forgiveness.”

“God bless you if you have one child, but I don't think anybody should have just one child. Everybody needs a sibling. I have siblings, and I have so many amazing, precious memories with my siblings. I don't know what I would do if I had been an only child.”

“If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?”