“My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.”

“My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.”

“I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car.”

“My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.”

“In the last three years of racing I've met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it's the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.”

“My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.”

“In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.”

“I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.”

“Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.”

“Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.”

“Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.”