Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Andy Rooney
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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.

Andy Rooney, Sincerely, Andy Rooney
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Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.

Andy Rooney, Sincerely, Andy Rooney
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I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.

Andy Rooney, Sincerely, Andy Rooney
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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasn't based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isn't true.

Andy Rooney, Sincerely, Andy Rooney
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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.

Andy Rooney, Sincerely, Andy Rooney
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The Christmas tree is a symbol of love, not money. There's a kind of glory to them when they're all lit up that exceeds anything all the money in the world could buy.

Andy Rooney, Andy Rooney: 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit
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The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.

Andy Rooney, Andy Rooney: 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit
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If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Andy Rooney
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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

Andy Rooney
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The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.

Andy Rooney
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