“Now landsmen all whoever you may be If you want to rise to the top of the tree. If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool Be careful to be guided by this golden rule - Stick close to your desks and never go to to sea And you may all be Rulers of the Queen's Navee.”

“Perhaps if you address the lady Most politely most politely Flatter and impress the lady Most politely most politely Humbly beg and humbly sue She may deign to look on you.”

“No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have - and I think he's a dirty little beast.”

“If you wish in this world to advance Your merits you're bound to enhance You must stir it and stump it And blow your own trumpet Or trust me you haven't a chance.”

“And so do his sisters and his cousins and his aunts! His sisters and his cousins Whom he reckons up by dozens And his aunts!”

“My object all sublime I shall achieve in time - To let the punishment fit the crime.”

“You must stir it and stump it and blow your own trumpet or trust me you haven't a chance.”

“I always voted at my party's call And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.”

“I always voted at my party's call And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.”

“When every blessed thing you have is made of silver or of gold you long for simple pewter.”

“You've no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself - and how little I deserve it.”