“Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.”

“It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy.”

“Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.”

“It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.”

“Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.”

“Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.”

“It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.”

“A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.”

“I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”

“Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.”

“The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.”