“The computer may be incompetent in itself--that is, unable to do the work for which it was designed. This kind of incompetence can never be eliminated, because the Peter Principle applies in the plants where computers are designed and manufactured.”

“It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.”

“Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.”

“Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.”

“America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.”

“Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.”

“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.”

“If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.”

“If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?”

“Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.”

“Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.”