“The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.”

“You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.”

“The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.”

“My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.”

“Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.”

“Funny is an attitude.”

“You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.”

“You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.”

“The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.”

“The cost of living is going up while the chances of living are going down.”