“The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.”

“Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum”

“Sure, he was attracted to her, but women always had to go beyond that.Women [had] nesting fantasies. It wasn't long before they wereredecorating your apartment and criticizing your choice of mustard.”

“I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum”

“I can't help it. I'm just a big gasbag. I still got leftover barbeque gas." She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long far. "Excuse me," she said.”

“If I let her in I'm doomed. It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you've invite them in, that's it, you're good as dead!”

“There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.”

“Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything.-Lula”

“Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said.Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it. Okay," I said. "Be careful. He's insane.”

“Babe!”

“Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you.”