“The sun was already long past the spire when Garrick purchased a mug of coffee from his regular man on the tip of Oxford Street. But his palate had been educated by 21st century coffee, and he judged this mug as bilge water not fit for the Irish.”
Eoin Colfer“Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over”
Eoin Colfer“Giving evidence against one's employers was the first step to unemployment.”
Eoin Colfer, The Opal Deception“Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down.”
Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code“No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?”
Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code“The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.”
Eoin Colfer, The Time Paradox“They were in a position of total ignorance and people in that position often died without being enlightened.”
Eoin Colfer, The Time Paradox“Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right.”
Eoin Colfer, The Opal Deception“Hey, bodyguard. You better get down to the gymnasium. This jumbo pixie guy is killing your sister." "Really?" said Butler, unconvinced. "Really. Juliet just does not seem to be herself. She can't put two moves together. It's pathetic, really. Everybody is betting against her." "I see," said Butler, straightening. Mulch held the door. "It's going to make things really interesting when you show up to help." Butler grinned. "I'm not coming to help. I just want to be there when she stops faking." "Ah," said Mulch, comprehension dawning on his face. "So I should switch my bet to Juliet?" "You certainly should" said Butler.”
Eoin Colfer