“The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.”
David Letterman“We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.”
David Letterman“I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.”
David Letterman“It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?”
David Letterman“There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.”
David Letterman“The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.”
David Letterman“There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.”
David Letterman“This guy put the suck in success.”
David Letterman“She represents the country Alamonia.”
David Letterman“Ladies and gentlemen after what I've been through I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.”
David Letterman“Labour day is a great American holiday that peoplecelebrate by going out and buying products made in China”
David Letterman