“They were obviously headstones of graves, though the graves themselves no longer existed as either mounds or depressions; the years had leveled all. Scattered here and there, more massive blocks showed where some pompous or ambitious monument had once flung its feeble defiance at oblivion.”

“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.”

“You scoundrel, you have wronged me," hissed the philosopher, "May you live forever!”

“To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.”

“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.”

“Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.”

“Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.”

“Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.”

“When you doubt, abstain.”

“Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.”

“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”