Letterman Quotes

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We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.

David Letterman
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I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

David Letterman
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It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?

David Letterman
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There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.

David Letterman
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The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.

David Letterman
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There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

David Letterman
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This guy put the suck in success.

David Letterman
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She represents the country Alamonia.

David Letterman
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Ladies and gentlemen after what I've been through I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.

David Letterman
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Labour day is a great American holiday that peoplecelebrate by going out and buying products made in China

David Letterman
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