“We enjoy talking about music, politics, and subjugation. —Kinky Friedman to Night Rider on KOKE-FM”

“Why would a comediotic guy like Buzz Aldrin worry about who said what first? He was on the %$#@!+-oon!”

“A little holiday spirit lives forever in everyone. Test your own holiday spirit. Give away all of it you can. You'll see, it comes right back to you.”

“Seasickness in itself is not contagious, but I’m pretty sure that puking is extremely contagious.”

“Time was unending when charmed, captivated, even delighted by the mystical motion of the ocean!”

“I can stomach just about anything… After all, I can deal with politicians… I don’t have any problem not puking on them! —Debra Wright, KNUT Reporter”

“If you run, you better be faster than my gun. -Weasel to illegal aliens”

“…have you always been a jackass or is that something you’ve just recently acquired at the ‘I Want to be a Junior Jackass’ store? -Weasel to Army Lieutenant”

“Give little people a little power, and it goes straight to their ugly, little heads. -Foot talks about authority”

“We enjoy talking about music, politics, and subjugation. —Kinky Friedman to Night Rider on KOKE-FM”

“I guess it’s a good thing that we don’t know what we don’t know”