“What a terrible round. I only hit two good balls all day and that was when I stepped on a rake in a bunker.”

“Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.”

“If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.”

“I never think of yesterday. Can't do anything about it. I'm a positive guy. When you really deep down look at it, we go to bed every night, get up every morning, stay here for 70 or 80 years, and then we die.”

“You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.”

“What a terrible round. I only hit two good balls all day and that was when I stepped on a rake in a bunker.”

“Anytime you play golf for whatever you've got that's pressure. I'd like to see H.L. Hunt go out there and play for $3 billion.”

“You don't know what pressure is until you play for $5 with only $2 in your pocket.”

“My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away as long as I'm not enjoying it.”