“When a Dragon, an Elf, and a Human walk into a bar, the Human is always going to be the punch line.”

“So, what’s the issue with Unicorns?”“Imagine a cat,” Rose said. “Not just a cat, but a cat that is such a cat, other cats come to it for cat lessons. Take a thousand cats, refine them down to a single drop of pure essence of cat, and make a whole cat out of the stuff.”I shivered. “Ewww. And that’s a Unicorn?”“No,” she said. “That’s an Elf. A Unicorn is a thousand times worse. An Elf you can reason with.”

“Riding a Dragon is amazing, exhilarating, and murder on the thighs.”

“The sad thing about miracles is that they’re unique. They can’t be explained, or shared, or duplicated. And they absolutely cannot be captured and made to perform on demand. If that day ever came, our world would die for lack of wonder.”

“The difference between the quest for the Holy Grail and someone saying ‘bring me a cup’ is the flavor text and the number of stops involved.”

“Fireball doesn’t need a search warrant.”

“I will never understand why you Humans weren’t designed to recycle your body’s water after filtering waste. It’s just so much more efficient.”

“When a Dragon, an Elf, and a Human walk into a bar, the Human is always going to be the punch line.”