“When I graduated college I had a series of just humiliating jobs that I couldn't believe I was at.”

“I've never seen Star Wars or The Godfather, so that would be a good excuse for us to spend a bunch of time together.”

“That is because no one could ever hate me as much as I hate myself, okay? So any mean thing someone's gonna think of to say about me, I've already said to me, about me, probably within the last half hour.”

“My weight fluctuates depending on my mood and my current devotion to my fitness routine.”

“You know, bad poetry I wrote in high school can still be found on the Internet, and, you know, there's a Web log of our college newspaper. You know, there's so many different stages of my creative development are sort of on-record if somebody were to choose to look for them.”

“I think romantic comedy, when done right, is my favorite genre. It's just a genre that's very human.”

“I feel like you don't know if someone's equipped for a romantic relationship until they're out of their twenties.”

“All my freakouts have been pretty private and directed at family pets and/or people I have been dating for too short a time to freak out at in that way.”

“I'm not great at dating, but I need to do it to relax.”

“I'm ridiculous in my oversharing my mom and sister are very open but a little more judicious than me... and my father is a decidedly private person. ”

“My mom knows pretty well how I see her.”