“You can't be the dad who takes your kid out after your wife has said, 'No ice cream,' buys the ice cream, and says, 'Don't tell your mother.' You teach the child to lie - and to disrespect the other parent.”

“You can't be the dad who takes your kid out after your wife has said, 'No ice cream,' buys the ice cream, and says, 'Don't tell your mother.' You teach the child to lie - and to disrespect the other parent.”

“There isn't anybody out there who doesn't have a mental health issue, whether it's depression, anxiety, or how to cope with relationships. Having OCD is not an embarrassment anymore - for me. Just know that there is help and your life could be better if you go out and seek the help.”

“The success of any stand-up act comes out of life experience.”

“We were a very small circle of writers. Everybody brought to the table their own life experience.”

“I'm from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I'm thankful for that.”

“Part of my humor is the fact that I love coming out of left field. I don't want people to expect what is going to happen next.”

“I think the thrust of any child is to try to fit in and be part of it. And I can't tell you how many times my humor, you know, what I thought was humor ended up making me the outsider. Like I'd be, I go, 'It's a joke.' And they'd go, 'Well, what was funny?' And they just thought I was insane.”

“The biggest void that people can have in their lives is a sense of humor. Spending your life with someone who doesn't have that wouldn't be palatable.”

“After being on the road so much I want to spend more time with my family who I hear are wonderful people.”