“You think all teenagers care about are musicians and movie stars?Spend some time in Wisconsin.We'll blow your socks off.”

“We've got so much in this life that all we know how to do is want more. So we concentrate on the wrong things--things we can see--as being the measure of a person. We think if we win something big or buy something snazzy it'll make us more than we are. Our hearts know that's not true, but the eyes are powerful. It's easier to fix on what we can see than listen to the still, small voice of a whispering heart.”

“You got to laugh Tree, if you don't you'll cry.”

“When the going gets tough, the tough get a librarian.”

“Life and death played out before my very eyes. You don't see these things if you clean your room regularly.”

“I nearly tripped over Stieglitz, my dog, a forty-pound black-and-white keeshond (pronounced caze-hawnd) furball. He lunged at me with unbridled glee because the mere sight of my presence always made his day. It's important to have a dog. Dogs love unconditionally. (Thwonk)”

“On cheap tippers:"Don't take it personally; they were deprived somehow as children.On low-fat entrees: "They sell well enough, but nobody's too happy after the meal.”

“You don't mince words.""Just garlic.”

“How are things with you, sir?""Fine." He says it flat."Coffee black. BLT."Now my heart tells me this guy needs more in life, so I take a short. "You ever had a cheese burger with grilled onions and mushrooms on pumpernickel, sir?"That takes a minute to sink in.Then he slaps the counter, grinning. "Bring it on."I sense he needs more."You want a malt with that, by any chance?"He did, of course. "Chocolate," he says, beaming like a kid.Now he's loosening up.It's a privilege to touch humanity in such a fashion.”

“It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year's Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupids on their windows by January second to rub it in. (Thwonk)”

“People are so cheap. Everyone wants quality, no one wants to pay for it. Here's the suburban dream-- to hire great workers who are such meek morons that they don't have the guts to ask for a living wage.”