“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“I remember as a child, my mother loved Dean Martin. Every Christmas, about the only Christmas album that we were able to listen to was the Dean Martin Christmas album.”

“Was he a good father?"To their surprise, I shake my head and smile. "No," I reply candidly. "He wasn't a good father, but he was a good man."Where Dad came from, that meant a great deal more.”

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”

“I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.”

“If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.”

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”