“Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.”

“Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.”

“Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.”

“Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.”

“One man's folly is another man's wife.”

“Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.”

“Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.”

“After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.”

“A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.”

“A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.”

“Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.”