“Epigram: a wisecrack that has played Carnegie Hall.”

“Schizophrenia beats dining alone.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.”

“Happiness isn't something you experience it's something you remember. ”

“Happiness isn't something you experience it's something you remember.”

“I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing other patients.”

“Epigram: a wisecrack that has played Carnegie Hall.”

“I'm a concert pianist. That's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.”

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”

“There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”

“I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.”