“He’s so outta my league, we’re not even playing the same sport… He’s professional soccer in Europe and I’m intramural badminton in the States.”

“Free drinks have no carbs.”

“He’s so outta my league, we’re not even playing the same sport… He’s professional soccer in Europe and I’m intramural badminton in the States.”

“If you’re going to be a dickhead, at least have the courtesy of doing it while I have a drink in my hand so I can throw it in your face!”

“Oh.” It was one those ohs that came packed with layers of meaning — none of which merely meant oh.”

“You should seriously get a job planning dates for The Bachelor.”

“In what way did your parents screw up to make you the woman you are today?”

“Some of us feel the need to experience life before bending to the will of an arcane society.”

“Where did you think playing with angels was going to get you?”

“The Old Testament is actually pretty raunchy. You might enjoy it.”

“Given his personality, I’d say exorcism makes perfect sense as a favored pastime.”