“Host: For those of you just tuning in, our guests tonight are the amazing Murder Magician, and his lovely minion, The Assistant...Assistant: Charmed, I'm sureHost: Who recently killed The Rumor. And you were awarded the Oppenheimer prize for villainy at last week's annual summit for dastardly deeds-- what are you going to do with all that money?Murder Magician: Well, I'm so glad you asked that-- because I spent all the money on this giant MURDERBOT, and I've been dying to show it off!Assistant: It's true... every penny.Host: Wow! That's impressive! So what does it do?Murder Magician: Well, Mr. Clark... it murders people.Laughter.Murder Magician: I'm serious.Assistant: He is.”

“Singing songs that make you slit your wrists”

“It's okay to love something a little too much,as long as it's real to you.”

“Would you destroy Something perfect in order to make it beautiful?”

“You can't be two people in your brain, one rock dude and a dad - there's something in the middle of them, and that's really what you are and that's going to make you the best dad - not when you try to be one or the other.”

“There's something very romantic about self-destruction and sabotaging your life, and taking a hammer to it.”

“Did Superman really want to save the world, or did he just feel like he had to? Would he much rather be a farmer? Maybe. Would he much rather be hanging out with his dad and his mom and his dog? Probably.”

“There's not a lot of art forms where you can control your presentation and your ideas.”

“It is often my nature to be abstract, hidden in plain sight, or nowhere at all.”

“I want to be a vampire. They're the coolest monsters.”

“Remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favorite band. You wore their shirt, and sang every word. You didn't know anything about scene politics, haircuts, or what was cool. All you knew was that this music made you feel different from anyone you shared a locker with. Someone finally understood you. This is what music is about.”