“I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.”

“Tracy Morgan is subdued. I'm cool. I'm chilled out.”

“I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from a dark place.”

“The most romantic thing I ever did to my woman? I painted her toenails!”

“You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing.”

“I'm a human being. I feel all emotions. I'm not just happy all the time. Sometimes, I'm sad and feel the blues. Sometimes I even want to feel the blues. Sometimes, you want to feel down.”

“Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.”

“Bad news travels at the speed of light good news travels like molasses.”

“I have my Lucky Charms in the morning, and I feel magical.”

“You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.”

“People live too much of their lives on email or the Internet or text messages these days. We're losing all of our communication skills.”