“I measure my days by the number of homicidal thoughts I have. I only had two today. So it must have been good.”

“She swore she'd never turn into her P.I. father...but that was before she ran over the body.”

“His overactive charm poured out like a lone drainage pipe after a flash flood.”

“He had a bushy unibrow that could house a family of quail.”

“I measure my days by the number of homicidal thoughts I have. I only had two today. So it must have been good.”

“People take power trips at the most inopportune times.”