“If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.”

“Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.”

“The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.”

“Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.”

“Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.”

“There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?”

“The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.”

“It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you.”

“If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.”

“A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.”

“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”