“Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?”
“Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?”
Mitch Hedberg
“I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.”
Mitch Hedberg“I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.”
Mitch Hedberg“I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.”
Mitch Hedberg“All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.”
Mitch Hedberg“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
Mitch Hedberg“I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.”
Mitch Hedberg“I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.”
Mitch Hedberg“Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.”
Mitch Hedberg“Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!”
Mitch Hedberg“A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.”
Mitch HedbergAll in One Creative & Marketing Platform to tell stories at scale
