“Laugh and the world laughs with you.Fart and you're on your own.”

“If I could split myself into five people, I would still be behind on my writing schedule. I see now why James Patterson cloned himself so many times.”

“Drafting is like painting the Golden Gate Bridge.The closer you get to the end, the more you start to worry about the beginning.”

“I am the sum of my past experience.Some people have got a lot to answer for.”

“Of all the things I expected to find in my lunch, a live snake wasn't one of them.”

“Don't look up at the mountain. Keep your head down, and take the next step.”

“You only get one life.Too bad you already made a mess of it.”

“Giving up drinking for life is easy.I've done it loads of times.”

“Failure is something you experience on your way to success - unless you're a skydiver.”

“If you were given the chance to be reborn after your death, buy you could only come back as a squirrel, would you complain?”

“If I could do it all again, I would start three hundred years ago, and write twice as fast.”