“My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times men would not stop to ask directions.”
“My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times men would not stop to ask directions.”
Elayne Boosler
“I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.”
Elayne Boosler“The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.”
Elayne Boosler“I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.”
Elayne Boosler“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.”
Elayne Boosler“I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.”
Elayne Boosler“I am thankful that all the people in the world who absolutely, positively, know what God wants, usually kill mostly each other.”
Elayne Boosler“I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.”
Elayne Boosler“I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.”
Elayne Boosler“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”
Elayne Boosler“Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?”
Elayne BooslerAll in One Creative & Marketing Platform to tell stories at scale
