“Stein resented the sedative power of religion, or rather the repose available to those blissfully ignorant that the medicament was a fictitious blank. In this exile from peace of mind to which his reason doomed him, he was like an insomniac driven to awaken sleepers from dreams illegitimately won by going around shouting, 'Don't you realize it was a placebo!' Thus it seemed to me that what you were up against in Stein was not logic rampant, but frustrated faith. He could not forgive God for not existing.”

“Life is a zoo in a jungle.”

“A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.”

“Murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.”

“The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.”

“Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.”

“The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music.”

“The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.”

“Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.”

“We know the human brain is a device to keep the ears from grating on one another.”

“Gluttony is an emotional escape a sign something is eating us.”