“There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.”

“When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?”

“It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom.”

“The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.”

“Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.”

“The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.”

“Manners are love in a cool climate.”

“If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.”

“The idea that He would take his attention away from the universe in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds is just so unlikely I can't go along with it.”

“Charisma is the ability to influence without logic.”

“My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.”