“HECKLER: Say something funny!COMEDIAN: I don't do requests.”

“Explanations are for cowards.”

“HECKLER: Say something funny!COMEDIAN: I don't do requests.”

“The trouble with believing conspiracies is you start seeing them everywhere, right? And everything becomes a part of them. But, of course, the trouble with not believing them is becoming a dupe.”

“I guess sometimes the truth just isn't worth believing... Personally, I've always felt that life's too short for truth. I'm just here to be entertained.”