“I'm not unlucky at love, just incredibly lucky with celibacy.”

“I have zero tolerance for people with zero tolerance.”

“I'm not unlucky at love, just incredibly lucky with celibacy.”

“Even-money that my liver lasts through my wife's metamorphosis to my mother-in-law.”

“Yoga pants often answer questions I didn't ask.”

“If there is such a things as "race", there is only the Human one.”