“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”

“I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home. ”

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.”

“It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.”

“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”

“Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.”

“I like children - fried.”

“Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.”

“The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.”

“I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.”

“Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”